


Mine

by AkaiAmedama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aki is as sweet as always, Anal Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, I'm not gonna tag the swearing, Jerking each other off, KeiAki (¬‿¬), M/M, Possessive Kei, Sibling Incest, although I admit that he's surprisingly good at dirty talk, oh and .. first time :D, oh wait! it's two first times! :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:27:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaiAmedama/pseuds/AkaiAmedama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How the exchange of an external hard drive leads to possessive thoughts and kisses and ... (¬‿¬)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As you might have noticed when looking at the tags, this fic includes incest, meaning, romantic feelings as well as sex between siblings, both boys and one of them only 16.  
> Now I understand that this is definately not everyone's cup of tea so therefore, please refrain from reading further should you feel uncomfortable with this. :3

It was a good thing he understood English rather well. He still didn’t get all of the songs’ lyrics immediately, especially if the singer took a faster tempo, but if he was really interested, he could just look up the written lyrics on the internet.

The last time they had been in the car and some foreign song played on the radio that Kei didn’t recognise, his brother had offered to give him some of the band’s music if he wanted to. Leave it to Niichan to hand him his entire external hard drive with what must have been more than 100 GB of music instead of one CD by the band in question. Kei wasn’t even sure how on earth he was ever gonna listen to the massive content on that thing, as it would probably take him years.

So Kei just selected like one or two random songs of the first few artists and made them a new playlist on his iPod. If he liked them, he’d put the name down to listen to the rest of the songs later.

Lighting up the display, he checked for the artist, fingers dancing over buttons and pressing repeat just before the song had finished, starting it anew.

And here he thought he had a pretty wide selection of music.

Well, judging from all the names and songs he didn’t recognise skimming the hard drive, compared to his brother’s, his collection was rather puny. Sighing, Kei turned over again in search for a more comfortable position. Hopefully one he could finally find some sleep in. But given the fact that he had been doing that for almost an hour now, he wasn’t exactly what you’d call optimistic. Maybe he should give Niichan some of his music too. Yeah, he should do that. Only, it would probably take him days to look through his brother’s music to find something he didn’t already have and even then Kei suspected that this was likely only _one_ of Niichan’s hard drives. Still, there had to be at least one band he could introduce his brother to, or two in case he didn’t like one of them. He’d start looking tomorrow.

After a short silence a different tune started and he casually wondered if some of these had a special meaning to Niichan.

If some reminded him of situations he had once found himself in, or feelings he hadn’t dared share with anyone. Not even with Kei.

He wondered if some of these songs had been playing at nights years ago and if they had made his brother cry. If some of the melancholic tunes had been what he had listened to on his way home from training before putting up a show to make his stupid little brother happy.

That was what Niichan had always been good at. Yet now considering all that had happened, for some reason, his brother doing something for him, trying to please him and make him happy and his life a bit easier and succeeding so easily, frustrated him to no end.

Kei didn’t even know why, but it did. He had never really given it a lot of thought before. Though now that he did, it really seemed as if Niichan had always done more for Kei than for himself. Like when he was little, how his brother would always share his dessert with him despite the fact that their mother forbade it and Kei had already eaten his own portion. Sometimes he’d even let him have all of it albeit being his brother’s favourite. Whenever there was something for dinner that Kei didn’t like, Niichan would wait until their mother wasn’t looking and secretly take it off his plate, grinning a cheeky grin once he had stuffed it into his mouth and wink at him. When Kei woke from a nightmare and ran to his brother’s room seeking comfort, he was never sent away. Instead, Niichan would lift his covers and once Kei had climbed into his bed, hold him close and talk to him in that sleepy, soothing voice until Kei had fallen asleep again, even if it had meant forcing himself to stay up half the night.

Back then, Kei hadn’t noticed all the little things his brother did for him, had taken them for granted. Because that was how big brothers were supposed to behave, right?

Well, he already knew that it wasn’t.

He had just been lucky getting a big brother like that.

One who’d never get mad at him or push him around simply because he was bigger and stronger and older. One who’d never tell him _'no'_ when Kei wanted to spend time with him, who’d even sacrifice the little spare time he had left for himself after a long day of school and training for his little brother.

One who would still do so today without batting an eye.

All Kei needed to do was ask.

Sometimes he didn’t even need to do that.

He would pick Kei up for training with his team so he didn’t have to take public transport. He was the one who drove all the way back to get him home again safely. Niichan would always sense when Kei wasn’t feeling well or when there was something bothering him, no matter how much he tried to hide it. After all these years and Kei distancing himself from his brother, Niichan still picked up on it. Almost like some creepy sixth sense. And maybe it was. He’d always offer his advice and support, sometimes simply by being there, ruffling his hair and smiling that gentle smile.

It was unfair, really.

So unfair.

Because no matter how much Kei wanted to, he really didn’t have a lot to offer in return. Even now that he was older. Sighing heavily, he skipped the song that had just started playing until he found one which fit his mood much better.

Damn, he probably couldn’t even find a band to introduce his brother to.

He didn’t have a car nor a lot of money. Even if he saved all the money his parents gave him weekly for months, Kei still couldn’t think of anything to buy his brother. Something he’d genuinely want and be happy about. Kei should really start paying more attention.

The worst part, however, was that he couldn’t give Niichan a shoulder to cry on nor a bed to climb into when nightmares came haunting. He couldn’t even give him advice. Not because Niichan wasn’t living with them anymore but because he was so reluctant to ask for any of that. Especially of Kei. Because he was proud and stupid and thought it was his job as a big brother to give these things and not to take them. So he had always preferred to just keep his worries to himself. Pretend that everything was fine, that he was fine, while in truth he really wasn’t.

Just like back then.

And that was so _fucking_ unfair.

If Kei had more of his brother’s awareness and sensitivity he would probably still be able to say the right words and do the right things at just the right moment to prove that he cared. To make Niichan feel better. To be a real help and show that he could lean on Kei too. That he didn’t need to hide. Not from him. Sadly though, the only things Kei had more than enough of were insecurities and the inability to cope with emotions.

Other people’s and his own.

Especially his own.

Yet as of lately, he really tried his best to get better at that, at least with his brother. Because he deserved it and Kei was tired of keeping him at a distance and seeing him hurt. Tired of pretending not to care. Because he did.

So he tried being there for his brother like he had always been for Kei. And damn, it really wasn't easy and he knew there was a lot of room for improvement, but at least he had finally started doing what should have come naturally to him from the very start. Something he hadn't been able to years ago when his brother had needed it the most.

And somehow, Kei had believed that everything would be fine again if only he'd manage to break out of that stupid behaviour pattern of his. He had soon realised though that it would take more than that.

That he couldn't make everything right just by himself.

That he wasn't the only one who needed to change.

Because how was he supposed to be there and help when Niichan just shook him off, hiding his pain and worries behind smiles and jokes? When he obviously still hadn't realised that this sort of behaviour – the secrecy and pretending – had been exactly what had caused their downfall. Damn, it had been so frustrating.

So fucking frustrating.

Kei remembered how Niichan had come home visiting one day but despite his smiles and cheerful attitude, Kei had still been able to tell that something had been off. Some part of him had been waiting patiently for his brother to come to him and pour his heart out while the other had known perfectly well that that would never happen.

Because, again, Niichan hadn’t wanted to bother him.

Because, again, he had felt like he wasn’t supposed to show any weakness in front of his little brother. That what Kei needed was some illusionary hero instead of the brother he loved so much.

How _fucking_ frustrating.

That wasn’t how he wanted their relationship to be. Not after all these years of yearning to be close again, to have things return to how they once were. Make them even better. Not after how their relationship had developed. He didn’t want to be the little brother Niichan felt the need to protect from everything bad in this world and keep his worries away from anymore.

He was 16 now, almost an adult too and he wanted to be seen as such. _As equal._ In every situation. Kei wanted to be relied upon too and goddamn it, he was so fucking sick of lies, no matter how well-intentioned and seemingly insignificant they were.

So ultimately, Kei hadn't been able to take it anymore.

He still didn't know where he had found the courage to call his brother out on it, though.

He remembered that they had been watching some stupid game show and for the most part of that evening the TV had been a welcome distraction – for both of them. Although it had seemed like Niichan’s thoughts had been elsewhere anyway and he had startled when Kei’s voice had cut through the noises coming from the TV.

“So … what’s up with you?”

He remembered being nervous, so much so that the hands in his lap had started to get clammy as soon as the words had left his mouth. He remembered wiping them on his sweatpants.

“Huh? Nothing. Everything is fine.”

The other’s voice had been smaller than it should have been and even though his brother had tried to make it sound normal and slightly amused, Kei had still heard the lie. Of course Niichan had no intention to make it easy for him. But that time, Kei had not intended to make it easy for him either.

He remembered staring straight ahead, his eyes glued to the screen, refusing to look at his brother sitting next to him.

“I’m not a child anymore, you know? I’m 16. I’m grown up already.”

“I’m very much aware of that, Kei,” his brother had told him.

“Are you?”

“Of course I am. What are you---”

“Then stop with that bullshit already. You don’t need to be strong for my sake anymore.” He had felt his brother shift, their elbows touching fleetingly, and almost expected him to get up and leave the room. “I don’t need that. I don’t _want_ that.”

Kei remembered cheering from the TV where one of the contestants had just managed to jump over at least 10 rolling logs repeatedly and thus winning the challenge. Kei would never understand why people did things like that. Money, most likely.

“Then what is it you want?” It was nothing more than a whisper, almost too low to be heard over the volume of the TV. The question had hung in the air, resounding in Kei’s ears as moments passed without him being able to give a satisfying answer. Gods, he had known perfectly well but putting it into words for his brother to understand had been another thing altogether. And sadly, Kei had never been good at expressing his feelings.

“I want …” His voice had sounded nothing like he had wanted it to but his mind had shouted at him to _just tell him and be done with it._

So he had.

“Honesty. Every time and not just when it fits you and your stupid pride. I don’t want to listen to any more lies, no matter how big or small. I don’t want you to keep me in the dark just because you think I can’t handle whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’m sick of you pretending to be alright and I definitely don’t want your fake smiles. You can keep that act up with your friends and with Mom and Dad if you need to, I won’t care, but stop doing that with me.”

It had been hard keeping his voice up, keeping it steady and sure. He recalled seeing his brother fumble with the fabric of his hoodie from the corner of his eyes and how he had wondered which look it was Niichan had been wearing on his face that moment. Regrettably, he had been too scared and nervous to turn his head and see for himself.

“I … ” His brother had begun with a weak voice but Kei had cut him off immediately. He hadn’t been finished yet.

“I want you to … stop thinking that there’s anything you could do to disappoint me or make me care less coz there’s not, okay, and when you feel that everything sucks and the world’s crashing down on you, then _I_ wanna be the one whose number you dial. No one else. See, I don’t want some perfect, ever smiling role model, or whatever it is you’re trying to be – I never wanted that – I want _you_. So can you please get that in your head already?"

When Kei thought about his words now, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. It hadn’t been what he had wanted to say in the first place but somehow the words had just gushed out of his mouth and once he had said them, it had been him who had wanted to jump off the couch and flee the room instead. Yet as his brother had suddenly grabbed his hand to squeeze it and weave their fingers together urgently, whispering “I really love you, you know?” with a trembling voice, Kei had been glad his legs had refused to move.

They hadn’t talked much more that night and even though Niichan hadn’t told him why he had been down, Kei recalled feeling more at ease. Maybe because his brother’s hand had still been holding onto his a long time after their conversation had ended. He had wriggled out of Kei’s hold once to get both of them something to drink, but just as Kei had started to miss the touch, his hand had returned, fingertips gently moving against his.

There still weren’t a lot of situations in which his brother decided to come to him in search for reassurance or support, but the few times that he had ever since their conversation made Kei’s embarrassing speech worth it. Because it proved that Niichan genuinely tried, that he had finally understood and that they were now working on it together, stupid as they both were.

Somehow it felt like winning a match despite all odds being against you. Like that one time when Niichan had called him in the middle of the night because he had felt anxious about an important meeting the following day and couldn’t seem to find sleep.

Kei remembered how, for some reason, his heartbeat had started racing as soon as he had seen his brother’s name on the screen, his heart drumming excitedly against his chest.

“What if the world’s not crashing down on me but I still need to hear your voice and sassy remarks at 2 in the morning?” A smile formed at the corners of Kei’s mouth when he recalled the words muttered into his ear once he had picked up the phone.

“Well, I guess, you just pick up the phone and make sure it’s worth my while.” Niichan had chuckled at that and after a short while of silence, had begun talking about that meeting and Kei had listened. It had been nice. Yeah. After what could have been an hour or maybe even just a few minutes, Niichan had gotten quieter, yawning more frequently into Kei's ear.

“Hey, I thought you called to hear my voice, how come you’re the only one talking?” Taken aback his brother hadn’t said a thing, probably noticing that Kei had been right and kicking himself for being so ‘s _elfish.’_ Only once Kei failed to hold the chuckle back had he seemed to get the joke. Gods, his brother sure was slow at this hour.

“You’re so not cute, Kei.”

“What? Didn’t you say you wanted sassy?”

“Situation, Kei. Situation. Learn to read it.” Well, he had lifted the mood and made both of them laugh, so there really hadn’t been any need for complaints, now had there?

And even though moments like this were what Kei had wished for all this time, he hadn't expected them to feel so fucking good.

But of course these things weren’t enough. Of course he still wanted more.

Because he was greedy and maybe, if he were to be completely honest, even a bit selfish. No. Actually, he was very selfish. Yeah.

For as long as he could remember his brother had been the centre of his world, the only person who really mattered, and despite the last 5 years nothing of that had changed. Far from it. Sometimes he thought it had even gotten worse.

While as a child, Kei had believed his brother to be invincible and had drawn strength from that, he now knew how wrong he had been. How Niichan was anything but invincible. How he got insecure as well and how he beat himself up over things that mostly weren’t even worth it. How he too needed someone to tell him things were going to be okay and drag him out of that dark place if he ever went there again. And as selfish as it was, Kei wanted to be that person. Maybe because some part of him felt as if he needed to make up for every time he had slammed a door in his brother’s face or refused to return one of his smiles. But there was a lot more to it than that, really. He didn’t want Niichan to call anyone else in the middle of the night. He didn’t want anyone else to be as close to his brother, to have that effect on him and make him let his guard down. Because he needed the confirmation that Niichan felt just the same about him.

That Kei was the centre of his world too.

And gods yes, he was very much aware of how every second-rate psychologist would probably make a fortune with his fucked up mind should his parents ever find out.

Shifting, Kei sat up in his bed and let out a heavy breath, cold fingers running through his hair before he absentmindedly reached for his glasses and put them on. All these thoughts had made him uneasy. He wouldn’t get any sleep now. Not like this.

Not when all he could think of was his brother and how badly he wanted him close. See his smile and hear him say Kei’s name in that special way that made his insides flutter and warm up. An irritated whine escaped him and Kei wondered if his brother was lying awake in his bed too, unable to sleep. Maybe thinking about him as well.

Usually it wasn’t this bad. Usually the thoughts would come and go and Kei would continue with whatever it was he had been doing. But today, he couldn’t. The thoughts just wouldn’t leave his head no matter how much he tried to push them away. Under normal circumstances the only option to ease his mind would have been grabbing the phone and dialing Niichan’s number in the hopes that he would pick up. And he always did. However, right now that wouldn’t have been anywhere near enough. It would have been completely unnecessary as well given the fact that his brother was visiting this weekend and was currently sleeping in his old room next to Kei’s. His gaze drifted through the darkness and to the wall that was separating his from his brother’s room. Glaring at it, as if it would just disappear if he only concentrated hard enough. And that was stupid, really, because it wouldn’t.

And that was okay.

Because he could just use the doors and walk over.

Like he used to when his brother was still living with them, before _that_ day and before Kei had lost the courage to do so. Like he had done a few times already when Niichan had come visiting. The action had always been appreciated, although he had never done it at this hour. Niichan had always still been awake.

His mouth went dry at the thought and before he realised it, his hands were fidgeting with the iPod to turn it off, nervously waiting to touch skin instead of cold plastic. Moments later, Kei already found himself in front of his brother’s old room, his hand clenching around the door handle before he turned it and slid inside, closing the door behind him with as much care as possible. One deep breath, two, and Kei turned around, tiptoeing towards the bed, his heart racing and pounding against his chest the closer he got, his eyes fixed on the sleeping figure in it. Niichan was sprawled on his back, his chest rising slowly, his breath even and his face relaxed. He looked good like that, Kei decided. Somehow younger. Although that was probably just due to the dark playing tricks on his mind. Or maybe he had never looked close enough to see. Now that he thought about it, 22 wasn’t actually that old. No, not really. It was just that Niichan had always been older and that made it hard to put it in perspective. But while 6 years had felt like an eternity when he was little, it was just 6 years now. One day, when they were in their 50’s or 60’s it would probably feel even less. His eyes wandered over the other’s face, drawn in by how Niichan’s eyes fluttered slightly or how his lips moved softly from time to time, as if trying to form words. The sight made his heart clench.

Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. No, he definitely shouldn't be doing this. It really was so like him. So fucking selfish of him to come here with the intention to wake Niichan only because Kei couldn’t sleep. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt about it until his courage was gone and he decided to do the same. Go back to his room and try to get some sleep. Try not to think. However, the moment he wanted to turn around, his brother shifted and let out a heavy sigh and a few seconds later, sleepy eyes blinked at Kei.

“Kei … ?” His voice was raspy from sleep and he seemed unable to keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds. It was easy, really. He just needed to leave and Niichan would be back asleep before Kei had reached his own room again. He probably wouldn't even remember in the morning. But as Niichan shifted, eyes closed again and seemingly ready to fall back asleep any moment, he absentmindedly lifted the covers and scooted over a bit to make room for Kei.

Even if he had seriously wanted to leave, he couldn't anymore. Not when his brother was inviting him to crawl under his covers and share the bed. Suddenly all doubts were gone and Kei climbed in hastily, agitated sighs his only answer when Niichan’s arms drew him into a lazy hug, tangling their limbs together. His body was nice and warm and smelled like Niichan and sleep, the covers around them building some kind of cocoon, trapping him inside. It wouldn’t take more than a few minutes for him to doze off like this, Kei guessed, with his brother’s even breathing and steady heartbeat lulling him in. All he needed to do was close his eyes and wait for sleep to come.

If Kei wanted to.

If he’d turn off his thoughts. Just for a few minutes.

But he couldn’t and his brother’s scent and warmth and the feel of his skin didn’t really help either. Nor did the little sighs he made once Kei’s hand started wandering up his chest, along his neck and jaw to finally bury itself in soft strands, keeping his head in place while Kei pressed his nose just below Niichan’s ear and inhaled deeply, his mouth claiming the soft skin beneath.

Soon sucking hungrily at the underside of his chin and moving to lick along his jaw, pleased when the body underneath responded and little mewls and whines reached Kei’s ear. The air around them was hot and breathing didn’t come as easy as it had just moments ago. Niichan still seemed more asleep than awake, his eyes closed even when Kei touched their foreheads together, panting hot breath against his brother’s slightly parted lips, whispering “Niichan,” to demand his full attention. When the other’s eyes still wouldn’t open he made a low growl before pushing his hand between them to press it against his brother’s already half-hard cock. That did the trick and his eyes flew open. For a split second, they looked shocked and confused until they recognized Kei and turned dark, now clouded with lust.

“Gods, Kei,” was all his mouth managed, already way too busy with panting and moaning and claiming Kei’s lips. Strong arms came up to bring Kei closer and when a warm hand moved to the front of his boxers, pressing down, a shaky long breath left Kei’s mouth and travelled across his brother’s lips and jaw causing him to hum and tilt his head upwards just a little. But Kei couldn’t let him do that now. He needed to stop him before it was too late. Before Niichan’s hand made him feel so damn good that it was impossible for Kei to concentrate on what he wanted. And right now he wanted all the little sounds his brother made when Kei touched him in just the right way. He wanted to make him lose his fucking mind because of how good Kei made him feel. He wanted to watch his face while he came and he craved to hear his breath hitch and wanted to count all the moans that carried Kei’s name.

Yeah. He really needed to have all of that right now. So before the other’s hand could dive into his pants, destroying every ounce of resolve he had, Kei grabbed it and used his weight to push it down next to his brother’s head.

“No touching.”

A warning growl left Kei’s mouth as a hand felt up his thigh to grope his ass and he quickly moved to catch that one as well, using slightly more force than he had with his brother’s other hand. To make a point. Of course it wouldn’t be as easy as that and Kei had already expected Niichan to struggle, but he had the advantage and no matter how much stronger his brother was, it wouldn’t be enough to push him off and free his hands now. Not with Kei on top.

“I said, no touching,” low voice breathing the words into his brother’s ear, followed by a warm huff of air he knew would probably cause a shiver. “Move your hands and I’ll be gone faster than you can blink. Got it?”

To his delight that made the body underneath him twitch and squirm and vibrate with a seemingly annoyed growl and a whiny ‘ _not fair.’_ Yet when Kei slowly removed one of his hands to get back to touching the hard and hot flesh between his brother’s legs, the other’s hands stayed were Kei had left them. Fidgeting fingers moved to grab the next thing they could reach and clenched around a pillow the moment Kei pushed the fabric of the boxers down and started pumping Niichan’s length – slowly picking up pace. Hot breath caressed his face, steaming up his glasses, thus robbing him of what little sight he still had left in the dark.

“Niichan ... stop breathing all over my glasses. I can’t see a thing ...”

“Just … take them … off …”

“I want to _see_ you.”

“Then you just,” the other panted, “… have to stay close …”

All of a sudden there were hands at his face, seizing his glasses and carefully sliding them off before he heard them hitting the ground the moment Kei had flicked his wrist in the most perfect way and a surprised moan broke from his brother’s lips. First Kei wanted to chide him and remind him that glasses were expensive and that Niichan had to explain it to their mother should they be broken but upon seeing the expression on his brother’s face, he decided that he didn’t really care. His mouth was open slack, panting hot breath against Kei’s lips, Niichan’s eyebrows drawn up in pleasure and the way half-lidded eyes watched him, almost pleading, made Kei lose his mind.

“Kei …” His knuckles turned white with how hard he was gripping the pillow by now.

The faster he let his hand slide over his brother’s hard length, the more frenzied the other’s moaning and breathing got, his hands almost ripping at the pillow. Soon Kei’s name was the only thing apart from groans and puffs of hot air that left Niichan’s mouth.

He wasn’t sure how much of that he was able to take. Because even though this was exactly what he had been craving for the entire night, he was already so painfully hard himself that Kei almost contemplated giving up and having his brother take control. Begging him to touch him already, to turn their position and push him into the mattress. To fuck him. But then he’d be the one desperately clinging to his brother, relying on him to make them both feel good, and for some strange reason, he just needed it to be the other way around right now. Ducking his head, Kei let his teeth graze the soft skin of his brother’s neck, mouth sucking and tongue lapping, and it took all of his self-control to not bite down too hard. And he wanted to so badly. Like an animal claiming it’s prey. Yeah. Bite down hard and mark Niichan as his.

_Mine_.

Wet lips slid along his brother’s jaw, planting sloppy kisses while pre-cum dropped onto his fingers and his fist clenched tighter, forcing a low groan.

_Mine_.

Niichan’s back arched and one of his hands came up to cover his mouth, muffling his moans so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Kei.”

_MINE_.

His tongue darted out to lick a path towards Niichan’s ear before lapping at his earlobe and finally sucking it into his mouth, causing his brother to buck his hips upwards and groan his name again. Without any warning Kei’s head was drawn back then and warm, trembling hands were at his face again, holding him still for hazed eyes to lock with his before he was pulled down for a feverish kiss.

“Don’t you dare leave,” his brother warned, catching his breath just to slide their lips together again, probably remembering the punishment Kei had announced should he move his hands. Fingers were combing through his hair and digging into his skin, desperate to keep Kei close while they both moved against each other frantically and he suddenly wondered how it would feel to bury himself in his brother. To push into him slowly – deeper and deeper – spreading him, until he was all the way in and probably couldn’t think straight anymore. He wondered how it would feel to thrust into him and have him cling to Kei, have him throw his head back and clench his eyes shut and moan his name over and over again. Would Niichan let him? Gods, just imagining the sort of face he’d make when Kei would hit that one spot made his hand move faster – faster – and his hips buck uncontrollably, rubbing his clothed erection against his brother’s thigh. Seconds later he felt the dick in his hand twitch and pulse and then Niichan was clawing at his back and his open mouth was hot against Kei’s ear, moaning his name again and again before finally coming all over his hand with a strangled cry. The sheets were gonna be a mess for sure, judging from how he could feel cum dripping off his fingers. Well, not that it mattered.

Pushing himself further up, Kei used his left hand to brush strands of hair out of Niichan’s face, the forehead damp with sweat and hot against his own. Releasing the limp member, he pushed his pants down and finally reached for his own dick, hard and aching and dripping, and began pumping impatiently because there was no way he could wait just one more second. He needed to come so badly and damn, he was already so far gone that it really wouldn’t take long now. It wouldn’t take long. Just a few more … a few more …

Then the body underneath him moved and Niichan’s arms around him tightened again, drawing him hard against his burning chest, making him squeeze his eyes shut and gulp down air while his hand continued to move mercilessly. When Kei felt him shift again he wanted to complain, beg Niichan to be still, to please not move until he was done – just a few more strokes damn it – but before he could manage the other’s mouth was already at his neck, hot and wet and sucking and all of a sudden biting down, a deep growl vibrating against his skin, making it tingle and burn and driving shivers down his spine. As he came with violent shudders, his face buried in the pillow to muffle the cry that was suddenly ripped from his throat, lips were pressing kisses to the side of his face and he could have sworn the hot breath washing across his ear had carried a whispered _mine_.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Kei noticed when he woke was a warm breath on his neck, followed by soft kisses and fingers brushing strands of hair from his forehead. When he leaned into the touch and an approving hum vibrated in his throat, a low chuckle right next to his ear made his insides tingle and a shiver run down his spine.

“Morning,” his brother murmured into his ear, rubbing his nose against the skin below in an obvious attempt to get his attention, reminding him that this wasn’t just part of some dream. When he forced his eyes open, blinking a few times to get used to the sudden brightness of the room, Kei remembered to mutter a throaty ‘ _morning’_ in return before letting his eyes slide shut again. He could feel Niichan’s heartbeat against his back, steady and somehow soothing, so much different from how it had been the night before.

It was nice like this, he decided.

Yeah. Really nice.

Much nicer than waking up alone.

Fingers brushed through his hair, absentmindedly playing with whichever strand they got a hold of, curling it before letting go of it again to look for another. His brother’s nose brushed along his neck and slowly moved all the way up to Kei’s cheek, leaving trails of warm breath and goosebumps that had already started to develop. He couldn’t suppress a pleased sigh. He might have even smiled a bit. Yeah.

“Hey, Kei~“ Soft lips were at his ear again making the tendons in his neck twitch in anticipation. “Care telling me what last night was all about?“

Kei felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. The skin there tingling out of embarrassment once his mind had been successful in recalling his actions the night before. Recalling how needy he must have seemed. How demanding. "... Nothing," he muttered.

Nothing at all.

Kei pressed his face further into the pillow to hide from his brother’s gaze and hoped Niichan would let it slide and they could go back to just lying here, enjoying each other’s company. He wasn’t even sure if he was able to explain his behavior to begin with and it was still too early for him to start making sense of it. He had just done what he had wanted to.

There was nothing else to it.

“Hmmmm ...” The low rumble vibrating in his brother’s throat seemed to crawl along his skin – under his skin – moving all the way to his spine to elicit a tingle and ride it downwards – down – down. Kei shifted uncomfortably when he felt his cock twitch. Damn.

“So … while you can give me shit for not being completely honest with you all the time, you-”

“It was nothing,” Kei cut him off before burying his face in the pillow again, mumbling, “I just wanted to, ‘s all. Now would you please lemme sleep some more?”

When he drew the blanket over his head to block the light out and keep his brother from seeing his flushed cheeks, trying his best to ignore the ache between his legs, hands slowly peeled the fabric away again.

“Hmm, I would love to but I’m afraid you have to do that in your own bed. It’s nearly 7 and Mom’s gonna be up any minute now.”

Kei could feel his brother’s gaze on him, his chin propped up on Kei’s shoulder, digging into skin and pushing against bones when he talked and his jaw moved.

Niichan had almost sounded a bit disappointed.

“What of it?” Kei muttered, attempting to make his brother let go of the blanket, to no avail.

Why Niichan had to make such a big deal out of it was beyond him.

It wasn’t like their mother would just barge in like that. She might come knocking, yes, but not before breakfast was ready, so they still had some time left and he wanted to spend it exactly where he was. Right here in this bed, surrounded by warmth, with his brother’s scent everywhere and his body next to Kei’s.

“Kei, come on,” Niichan’s voice had taken a more serious tone, the playfulness pushed aside for the moment.

“I don’t want to get up yet.” It was hard not making it sound like a whine but like pure annoyance instead. Kei thought he had done a good job, hissing the words into the pillow but his brother could probably still tell.

“Well, I don’t want to either given the fact that _someone_ had decided to wake me in the middle of the night and disturb my sleep but I’m also not eager to be thrown out of this house and into jail so~ …”

Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Kei yanked at the blanket in another attempt to make his brother loosen his grip.

The mood was gone now.

He would still stay put, he decided. To make a point. Even though the other’s comment made him actually _want_ to leave the room.

“Come on now, please get up.” Craning his neck and leaning over him, Niichan tried to get Kei to look at him, the weight of his brother’s body pressing him deeper into the mattress. He just closed his eyes again, pretending not to hear the complaints.

As if their mother would have Niichan arrested just because she found the two of them sharing a bed. As if that would be something to freak out about. As if that would be so abnormal and indicate anything else but a very close relationship between siblings.

Kei found himself snorting at the absurdity of it.

As if the first thing a mother suspected when she found her two _sons_ in one bed was, ‘ _Oh shit, they probably jerked each other off_.´

Sometimes he wondered how little his brother believed himself to be worth, thinking their mother would just throw him away like that based solely on some ridiculous assumptions. Which she had absolutely no reason in having. And even in the very unlikely case that she found something that would plant them in her head …

 _As if_ Kei wouldn’t be able to make up one fine excuse their mother would giggle to herself about if he needed to. Making her feel embarrassed for ever even considering an absurdity like that.

“Keeeeeiiii.” Now that had definitely been a whine.

If his brother was so worried about anyone finding out, maybe he should just learn to put up a better show whenever the situation called for it. Because while their mother probably hadn’t, Kei _had_ noticed how Niichan had tensed up and chewed on his bottom lip when Kei had covered for both of them that one time with a blatant lie. And really, it wasn’t that he liked lying to their parents, but it came surprisingly easy once he reminded himself that he was protecting Niichan far more than himself. Honestly, he wasn’t as naïve as his brother sometimes accused him of being. He understood fully well that, should anyone ever find out, nothing he said or did would matter. No one would believe anything Kei said, they probably wouldn’t even _listen_ . He’d just be ignored, branded the _victim_ while Niichan would be taking the blows, most likely not even trying to defend himself. He’d probably even agree with them just to get Kei out of it, to protect him. How his brother came to believe that Kei was the one who needed his protection while Niichan would be the one breaking was beyond him.

A finger bored into his side causing Kei to flinch and try to move away from it.

“Niichan, stop that!” This time it did sound like a whine.

“If you don’t move it, I’ll be picking you up and dropping you outside my door. See how you explain that to Mom once she finds you, huh~?”

He’d just tell her, Niichan kicked him out of his bed because Kei didn’t want to get up, look annoyed and switch to ‘ _pretend not to be sad’_ mode. She’d probably just tell him that his brother didn’t mean it and ask what he wanted for breakfast. Was that supposed to scare him? Just because it scared his brother? Because Niichan wouldn’t be able to play it down and make it seem perfectly ordinary? The inability to do that was exactly what made people curious.

A few finger pokes and shoves later, a heavy sigh escaped his brother’s mouth.

“Please … ” he whispered before his head dropped next to Kei’s, close enough to feel his own breath being reflected from his brother’s face. “Don’t make this so hard for me …”

The pained and desperate tone of his voice was what ultimately made Kei give in. He just couldn’t stand it. Niichan shouldn’t sound like that. His voice should be cheerful and confident. It shouldn’t be small and sad and the only time Kei would accept and relish that tremble was paired with his name and moans.

His face shouldn’t have that sort of expression either. That pained look where his brows would be slightly drawn up and his lips quivered, barely noticeable. The one he had never let Kei see in the past. And maybe that was why seeing it hurt so much. Why, even with his face half buried in the pillow, facing down in an attempt to hide it, Kei just _knew_ Niichan was wearing it right now. And he wanted it gone. Yeah.

It would be easy to just tilt his chin up a tiny bit and brush his nose against his brother’s cheek, to send a warm huff of air along his skin and follow up with a gentle press of lips. Niichan would surely sigh softly and soon, Kei would feel his lips on his, gentle and warm, before Kei’d want more and push his tongue along his brother’s mouth, urging him to deepen the kiss. Their breaths would be slightly foul given the time of the day but Kei thought he wouldn’t even care. No, he really wouldn’t because Niichan’s expression most definitely wouldn’t be pained and sad anymore. And that would have been because of Kei. Only because of him.

Yeah.

Suddenly, a finger tapped his forehead softly and Kei’s gaze was met by his brother’s clear brown eyes, the corners of his mouth drawn up into an amused smile.

And they hadn’t even kissed.

“What’s going on inside that head of yours, hm?” The finger wandered down the bridge of Kei’s nose until finally tapping the tip gently. “You thinking about how to sneak back into your own bed without anyone noticing now that Mom’s awake?”

 _Not even close_ , Kei thought.

Though to tell the truth, he hadn’t even noticed the clinking noises coming from the kitchen downstairs, indicating that their mother was currently preparing breakfast. But now that he had, Kei supposed, he really needed to hurry whether he wanted to or not.

“Kei?” His brother asked again, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“You are kinda sending mixed signals, you know?”

That made Niichan furrow his brow in confusion. “Huh?”

“Well, first you urge me to get up already, _pestering me_ , and then you make yourself comfortable lying all over me. You expect me to throw you off?” He flashed a teasing smile. “Pin you down again?”

That earned Kei a wide grin and a flick to the forehead.

“Do you seriously think you could without me wanting you too, little brother?!” Kei wasn’t sure whether to shake it off as one of Niichan’s jokes or see it as a challenge to prove his brother wrong but somehow he leaned towards the latter. Sure, Kei didn’t have Niichan’s build and of course the other was _generally_ stronger. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t overpower him when given the right situation. Why his brother found the thought so fricking amusing that he still gave Kei _that_ look while shaking his head, chuckling, was a mystery to Kei, really.

Sadly, before he got a chance to defend his scratched ego, Niichan had already rolled onto his back, theatrically throwing his arms into the air.

“I hereby release you! From this day forth you shall-“ Kei made sure the pillow hit home, successfully cutting his brother off before pushing up from the bed. “Hey! I just had a moment!” Niichan laughed, tugging the pillow from his face.

“Yeah? I just had one too and you _ruined_ it,” Kei shot back over his shoulder, pretending to be much more annoyed than he really was.

“ _Did_ I? Oh, I’m really sorry,” Niichan announced with an amused tone before chuckling again. “I’ll make up for it.”

“You should.” Kei picked up his glasses and checked for any damages. When he found none he put them back on, his vision sharpening again.

“I will.”

“Next weekend for instance.” Kei’s voice was flat and indifferent, his back facing the bed. It was easier faking that tone when the other couldn’t see his face. Much easier.

“Ah~ sorry, I can’t,” his brother replied sighing.

It was also much easier hiding any sort of disappointment that might have shown on his face.

“Okay.” Somehow the news had set him into a hurry, his limbs eager to leave the room as fast as possible. It really wasn’t a big deal.

“Listen,” his brother called after him, the chuckle gone. “I’m busy on Saturday, okay? I’m sorry. But the weekend after is fine! What about that, hm?”

“Yeah. Whatever.”

The words were still lingering on his lips once he closed his brother’s door from outside and slowly tiptoed towards his own room.

When Kei flopped down onto his bed, huddling under cold covers that made him shiver, he couldn’t help the disappointment. So next weekend was impossible, eh?

Fine.

It was fine.

No it wasn’t.

It wasn’t fine.

Damn.

At moments like this Kei wondered if his brother thought about him just as much. If he was still lying in that warm bed now, running his fingers through tousled hair, wishing Kei had still been there. If he noticed Kei’s scent on his pillow, hoping that it wouldn’t be gone in a few hours. That things wouldn’t be as fucked up as they were.

Sighing, he let his eyes drift shut, remembering his brother’s face when Kei had pinned his hands down the night before and how some primitive, animalistic part inside had wanted to claim him. Gods. Was that what Niichan felt before pushing into Kei? Damn it. Was it? Gods, he really wouldn’t mind to be claimed by him. No. Truth be told, it excited him. To be claimed. Like when his brother had whispered _mine_ into his ear. Yeah. Maybe someday, he would claim Niichan in return. Pin him down – prove that he could – slide between his legs and fuck him. Push as deep as possible and fuck- Oh gods.

A little whimper resounded in his ears. It took him seconds to realise it had been his. Oh gods.

His face was burning and he was hard again, the front of his pants already stained.

_Damn it._

Shifting, Kei’s eyes drifted over his nightstand and ultimately landed on his iPod, staring at the little device before reaching out to put on his headphones and start the song he had cut off yesterday, the music drowning out the muffled moan that left him once his hand had started pumping his cock.

He would never be able to look at Niichan again.


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing.

Kei let the phone fall from his fingers, the little device bouncing from white leather, and reached for the TV control instead, switching to a different programme.

 _[Aren't you done already?]_ was the only message Kei had sent his brother.

More than an hour ago.

It shouldn't matter, he knew that, but somehow it still did.

Sighing, Kei ran his fingers through short hair, already regretting having sent a message at all, leave alone one like that.

He really didn't want to seem clingy and needy, because he wasn't. That wasn't like him at all.

Not one bit.

Not since he had decided to stop being like that 5 years ago.

Yet for some strange reason it had been hard keeping his fingers from typing stupid messages the entire evening. It shouldn't have been, but it had.

So much so that he had given in to temptation, sending a pathetic message that only served to prove what a selfish little shit he really was, hoping that he'd at least be satisfied once he read his brother's reply.

Only there hadn't been any.

It was 01:27 am.

Half past 1 in the morning and Kei wasn't sure how long he could manage to keep himself up with random history documentaries, waiting for his phone to buzz or for Niichan to just come home already.

Sighing heavily, Kei stretched his legs, wincing as cold air brushed along his naked feet, the blanket too short to cover him completely, and let his head drop to the armrest. Tired eyes stared at the ceiling where shadows danced to the sound of rifle fires and artillery shells exploding in trenches.

It had been his own fault, really.

Niichan had told him that this Saturday was impossible. Because it was his team's anniversary and he couldn’t refuse to come – didn’t _want_ to miss it – and probably wouldn't be home until late. But Kei had insisted, reasoning that he had loads of studying to do and it wouldn't matter whether he did that alone in his room or at Niichan's place. That he would just go to bed once he got too tired, whether Niichan was home or not, and that it was fine to just have Sunday to spend together.

It wasn't though and the later it got, the more tired he got, the more he realised that in truth, Kei had secretly been hoping that his brother would come home early.

Of course he hadn't.

And really, Kei didn’t even have any right to be mad because Niichan had warned him and it was nothing but his own neediness and stupidity that had put him in this situation.

Fingers felt for his phone and picked it up again, holding it in front of his face to check for a reply from his brother. There hadn't been any buzzing to announce a message but he checked anyway.

Nothing.

Of course.

For all he knew, Niichan most likely hadn't even read it. He probably hadn't even checked his phone in hours, the little device buried somewhere in his bag or jacket, forgotten, while it's owner enjoyed drinks with his team. Laughing. Having fun.

Of course.

Or he had simply chosen to ignore him in order to teach his clingy little brother a lesson. No. He wouldn’t do that.

Sighing again, Kei let his arm drop to the couch before he allowed himself to close his eyes, finally admitting defeat.

Maybe he should just go to bed. Call it a day and swallow the disappointment he had no right in feeling. Coz his brother _had_ _told_ him.

Yeah.

Because meeting with his team today was important to Niichan and despite knowing that, Kei had still ended up hoping the other would just skip it entirely or at least excuse himself after the first drink to spend time with Kei instead. Because he knew his little brother was waiting for him and Niichan wanted him close too. That he'd put Kei first. Gods, that was so damn selfish.

Blinking, Kei untangled himself from the blanket and sat up, checking his phone one last time before he turned the TV off, leaving him in the midst of darkness. One deep breath later, Kei pushed to his feet and slowly felt his way to the bedroom, the flooring chilly and sticking to his skin.

Once inside, he left the door slightly ajar and crawled onto his brother's bed and under the covers, drawing them all the way up to his chin and coiling up. His glasses found a place on the nightstand to his right. The fabric was still cold to the touch and it took a while until Kei's body heat had warmed it up enough for him to feel comfortable. It would have been easier with Niichan around. Two bodies would have produced much more heat than one and Kei could have just snuggled up against his brother, tangled their legs together and felt his arms snake around his back.

The thought made him furrow his brow and press his nose into the pillow, inhaling Niichan's scent and sighing heavily when he felt his cock twitch and harden. That happened a lot more often lately. Damn it.

There really was no use in fighting the urge to touch himself, so he let his hand move to the front of his underpants. Fingers brushed over his clothed length fleetingly before sliding inside to grab his cock and start pumping slowly. A low moan echoed through the room, rebounding from the walls, and Kei tried to ignore how much he wanted his brother with him now. How much he had missed his touch over the week and how often he had jerked off imagining Niichan's hand instead. Or mouth. Or ...

Another moan was muffled by the pillow.

Kei had no idea why he couldn't get the idea out of his head ever since Niichan had last visited home when it had never ever crossed his mind before. But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to know how it felt between his brother's legs and pushing into him like he had done with Kei so many times already. Would it feel much different from Niichan's hand or his own? Would he come harder than when his brother sucked him off? Would it feel just as intimate as when Niichan drove into him? When he felt him come inside? More so even? Could he make his brother's vision blur too? Make his breath hitch and moan uncontrollably?

Would he let Kei do that? Let his little brother see him like that ...

Sadly, he suspected that this sort of thing was something his brother wouldn't want to let Kei do. That this was part of the whole 'big brother, little brother' thing ... and about how Niichan wanted Kei to see him. And that probably didn't include him on his back with his gaze unfocused, moaning wantonly while his little brother pounded his ass. Clenching his eyes shut, Kei increased the tempo, relieved when he felt his orgasm build up slowly. Gods, he really wanted to know what kind of face Niichan made when he hit that one spot – the one that always made Kei cry out in pleasure whether he wanted to or not. That spot that made his eyes roll back into his head and his insides tingle. Sometimes that was enough to make him come, though it felt even more amazing with Niichan’s hand on his cock. Damn it.

_Damn it!_

A faint metallic sound reached his ear then and it took Kei a moment to register that his name had been called and that the sound he had heard first had been that of keys. Tightening the hold he had on his hardness, so close – damn – so close, Kei stopped his hand's movement and instead tried to calm his breath and the heart pounding against his chest. The sound of footsteps made him giddy. Niichan was home.

"Kei?" His brother called out in half a whisper, probably trying not to wake him in case he had already been asleep. Reluctantly, he let go of his cock, wiping his fingers on his pants and hurriedly pulled them up again, just in time before his brother pushed through the door. This time his name was nothing but a faint whisper and Kei had almost missed it over his heavy breathing and racing heart. Over the throbbing of his cock, screaming for attention.

"Kei?"

First he had thought of faking sleep, just to see what his brother would do. If he’d return to the living room to watch some TV or maybe crawl into bed with him, pull him close and hum stupid things he didn’t intend on Kei to hear. But there really was no point in that now, was there? Not when Kei had stayed up all night waiting and Niichan now finally being here. Not to mention that his brother had to be deaf to miss Kei's ragged breathing and believe he was dreaming peacefully.

"Yeah," he whispered back, his voice trembling.

For a moment he wondered if his brother had left the room again because there was no answer, no movement that indicated otherwise. But as he turned around to check, he found a dark silhouette standing at the short side of the bed, obviously staring at him, not moving one inch.

“Niichan?” His voice cut through silence and he propped himself up on one elbow, waiting for a response. _Something_.

But there wasn’t.

Was he mad at Kei? Because of that message? Had Kei ruined his fun? Had Niichan come home because of the message, wishing he hadn’t left his friends? Was Kei too clingy? Or maybe, the message had reminded him of how wrong it was what they were doing and he was now racking his brains for a way to tell Kei this had to stop. Gods, he knew his brother beat himself up about it all the time no matter how often Kei told him not to. Assuring him that he wanted it just as much. Was that it? Fuck.

"Niichan?" He tried again and couldn’t help noticing how little and insecure he sounded.

Seconds later the mattress dipped and his brother was ripping at the covers, exposing Kei to the cold, leaving him open and embarrassed because he was hard and he had been too taken aback to hide it immediately. Once the covers were out of the way, Niichan crawled over him and pushed his hands under Kei's shirt, feeling his stomach and chest and the small of his back, his breathing heavy and agitated. Obviously, a surprised yelp was all Kei could muster before Niichan yanked the shirt over his head and hungry lips were on his, eager and demanding, kissing and sucking. Not that Kei minded. Another second later and his pants were yanked down. Kei wondered if his brother had already noticed his state once he had entered the room. Had heard the hitch in his breath and the panting and had put two and two together. Or maybe he had just been horny himself. Well, Kei decided it didn’t really matter once Niichan got rid of his own pants and pushed their erections together, rubbing against Kei in a fast rhythm while he continued devouring his mouth.

"Niichan," was all Kei managed between lips and tongues, unable to communicate anything else, pulling at his brother's hair to bring him closer. Hands were roaming his body impatiently, moving over his chest and pinching nipples just before Kei felt them trace his spine all the way up to his neck, fingers burying themselves in his hair.

"Gods, Kei, I want you," his brother whispered breathlessly, the hand in his hair moving to touch the side of Kei's face, tracing his cheekbone and jawline. "Gods help me, I want you so bad."

Usually Niichan wasn’t as straightforward, too worried about pushing Kei into doing something he might not want or regret later. Which was so stupid, really. "... Was thinkin' 'bout you all night,” the other panted before sucking Kei’s bottom lip into his mouth and he couldn’t help but answer with an approving moan. Now that was unexpected. In a good way. Yeah. Just imagining his brother sitting and laughing with his friends all the while thinking about nothing but Kei was … arousing. Yeah. Most definitely very arousing.

"Get the lube," Kei managed even though the other's thumb was at his mouth, feeling the swollen flesh of his bottom lip.

"I'm so hard because of you, you ..." the last part was lost within another hungry kiss. If his brain had functioned properly, Kei would have most likely flashed a suggestive grin and asked for how long _exactly_ his brother had been _so hard_ for him, but it didn’t so he opted for another affirmative moan instead. Close enough.

"Where's the lube?" Kei panted against the other's lips impatiently, trying to slow the movement of his brother's hips with his hands, fingers digging into muscled flesh. Gods, he wanted to be closer. Doing it like this just wasn’t enough. It never was. He wanted more than just horny rutting, and it was fine now that they didn’t have to be careful. Now that their parents weren't somewhere next door and half of their concentration was wasted on keeping their voices down. Especially now that Niichan was like _this_.

"No need," his brother panted, slipping his t-shirt over his head, leaving his hair tousled and wild before leaning down again. He pushed his nose under Kei's chin to tilt his head up further and suck at his adam apple and the soft flesh of his neck, licking along his jawline and drawing a pleased hum.

"Sure is. Where …?" Kei trailed off and momentarily forgot what he had wanted to ask as Niichan's warm hand took a hold of both their erections and started pumping, forcing an embarrassing whimper from Kei's mouth at the sensation. Gods, he _really_ wanted to fuck. "... Fuck ... _now_ ," he wheezed unable to create a coherent sentence consisting of more than two words.

"Can’t.” A wet mouth sucked at his neck and sent shivers down his spine. “Sorry, won't last," the other's hand moved faster and faster and gripping tighter, anxious about getting them both off as soon as possible it seemed, a low groan vibrating against Kei's neck. "'m too drunk," Niichan breathed against his ear while sucking and licking every inch of skin his mouth could reach. "'m sorry. Sorry."

And it almost didn't matter. Because it was Niichan and even though it wasn't what Kei had wanted, it still felt absolutely amazing. So it didn't matter.

Almost.

Then again, he really, _really_ wanted to fuck right now. And wasn’t it kinda unfair that he had to resign what he wanted, had waited for the entire evening – the entire _fucking_ week, even – just because Niichan had to get wasted at some stupid party instead of … spending time with Kei. And damn, he knew he shouldn’t be thinking like that but somehow he couldn’t help it right now. Somehow he didn’t care. He’d start being reasonable again tomorrow. The thoughts rushing through his head suddenly caused him to grab his brother’s face and push their lips together again, his kisses more demanding. Possessive.

Yeah.

Possessive.

Because Niichan was his.

Yeah.

He was his and Kei needed to be closer, needed to know that he was the one closest to him. The only one. Fuck.

"If you ... can't ... " he rasped before ripping the other's hand from both their cocks and rolling them over in a graceless motion and a wild tangle of limbs. Changing their positions so he was on top, pinning Niichan’s hands down next to his head and panting hot breath into his brother's ear. "Then I'll just do you."

He had no idea where that had come from. No _fucking_ idea what had made him say that, only that he _shouldn't_ have. That he had probably pushed too far. The way his brother had frozen in his movement momentarily, the way his shoulders had tensed and he had swallowed hard, was speaking volumes.

Shit ...

Niichan would most likely push him off any second now, avoiding his gaze while trying to explain to Kei that he didn’t want to do it the other way round. That he wasn’t into that. And then that awesome moment would be gone and they probably wouldn’t even jerk each other off.

SHIT.

Maybe if Kei just kept grazing his teeth along his jaw and sucking on the soft flesh of his neck while he continued pushing their cocks together, the other would forget about it, would ignore it for the sake of getting off. That he wouldn't outright refuse him but instead just shrug off that Kei ever said something as silly as that. Yeah, he should just play it down.

“It was a joke,” he mumbled while his teeth were grazing Niichan’s ear. Trying to sound convincing, hoping that it at least had worked on his brother because it sure hadn’t worked on himself.

"Kei ..."

Seriously, whatever it was his brother wanted to say now, Kei didn't want to hear. It didn't matter, so he made sure to cut him off. To lick into his mouth and suck on swollen lips. A trembling hand reached between their bodies to mimic what Niichan had done just seconds before Kei had ruined the mood. They could get off like this. It was fine.

Moments later his hand was stopped.

Kei wanted to complain or maybe apologise but before he could get his mouth to do either, his brother's arm stretched out to the side of the bed, rummaging through one of the drawers of his nightstand.

"... Lube," Niichan whispered once he had found what he had been looking for, shoving the small bottle into Kei's face and opening it with a click.

For a second he had thought he had indeed ruined the mood.

He was glad to see that he hadn’t.

Good.

So they _were_ going to fuck now, eh? _'Won't last' my ass_ , Kei thought. What kind of silly excuse had that even been? Even if his words weren’t believed to be a joke, they seemed to have done a great job in scratching his brother's ego. _Sucks to be told you can’t do something, right Niichan?_ Kei had to chuckle. He had to remember that.

In the end it didn't matter who did who as long as they were connected and close. And Kei liked when Niichan moved inside of him. He liked feeling his weight on top of him, how the other's muscles moved under skin. He liked when Niichan pushed all the way in and skin slapped against skin. So it was fine. He really was fine doing it this way again, as long as they _were_ doing it.

"Hurry," Kei panted when the other took more time pouring the lube onto his hand than usual and again when his brother's fingers only grazed his hole fleetingly instead of pushing inside immediately to spread him. “Don’t tease!” Kei hissed through clenched teeth, pushing his ass up against his brother’s hand only to find it moving to his front instead.

Sadly he didn't manage anything but a surprised, drawn out moan when Niichan's slick hand was at his cock, gripping hard and pumping him slowly, his eyes closing on their own accord as his mouth went slack. When he managed to opened them again, sending the other a confused look, his brother only craned his neck to nibble at his lips, murmuring "makes it easier for the both of us, don’t you agree?" while Kei could only gape and blink, his brain desperately trying to make sense of his brother's words and actions. The hand on his cock, spreading lube ...

God damn.

Ducking his head, his eyes darted to the hand on his cock to make sure that he wasn’t mistaken. He couldn’t really see a thing. Damn.

Niichan had gotten the lube.

But not to fuck him.

Kei couldn't suppress an excited moan. _Damn!_

Niichan had grabbed the lube to let Kei do it.

Let him do it.

Push into him.

Fuck him.

Let Kei fuck him.

Because Kei had said he had wanted to and instead of telling him that he couldn't, that Niichan didn't want to, he had just started lubing Kei's cock instead of his own. Like it wasn't a big deal at all. Like he didn’t mind having Kei inside. _Wanted_ to feel Kei inside too.

Fuck.

A hitched breath followed by a suppressed whine brought Kei back to reality, the hand on his cock gone.

"Niichan, you sure? You don't-" but his brother only pressed their foreheads together, his eyes boring into Kei's. He didn't remember ever seeing them look so intense, so absolutely focused and determined. When his lips moved, the words that reached Kei's ears where nothing but a low rumble.

"I've got two fingers up my ass already, three in a few seconds, and if you want to, I'll let you put that hard cock of yours inside next so plea-"

That really was all Kei could take before he had to cut Niichan off and crush their lips together in a bruising kiss. He couldn't believe the other had said something as lewd as that and gods, if he ever said that to someone else, Kei would probably lose it.

He would have loved to answer with some very obscene things himself, make his brother’s cheeks heat up and his cock bob in anticipation. But he couldn’t. Because his mouth was busy and maybe – maybe – he didn’t have the guts to do it, afraid that he’d say something stupid and ruin the mood for good. Make his brother change his mind.

Suddenly he was unsure of what to do, what was expected of him now that their roles were reversed. It had been so easy imagining it, alone in his bed at night and grinding into the mattress. He had known what to do. At least, he had believed that he had. And in his head, the things he had done had made both of them moan and cry out in pleasure. But now ...

Two fingers up his ass ... wait, should Kei be helping? Gods, he probably should be helping. Or do something that wasn't just helpless grunting and _gaping_. He should at least try to give the impression that he wasn't scared shitless by the prospect of taking control just to ruin it, especially because he had wanted to do it so badly ever since that one night a week ago.

"Kei," his brother's breath hitched again and he clenched his eyes shut. "More ... more lube ..."

His mind went blank.

He hadn’t even realised the cold liquid dripping from his fingers and before his brain could process what his body was doing, Kei already pushed one of his fingers between three of his brother's, causing Niichan to arch his back and throw his head back. The faint taste of salt spread on his tongue, his mouth latching onto his brother's skin. Moments later he found himself pumping his cock, spreading more lube before moving closer and strong hands pulled him forward, positioning Kei's hips, the tip of his cock already brushing against his brother's muscle. Gods, he'd be fucking his brother. Gulping down air that was too hot and tasted like a mixture of his brother and lube and alcohol on his tongue, clouding his senses, Kei moved his hips forward. He'd be fucking Niichan.

Trembling hands took hold of his face, drawing his head down to make their foreheads touch again.

"Don't worry, alright?" He heard Niichan whisper. "Just push in slowly, stop when it hurts and use more lube-"

"I know that," Kei cut him off again, his lips sliding against Niichan's as he slowly increased the pressure and dipped in between the tight muscle, spreading him with the tip of his cock and pushing further, feeling his brother's rapid heartbeat against his palm and fingers digging into his skin.

One wince later and Kei wasn't sure he was able to go all the way. Of course he knew that it hurt at the beginning and only started feeling good after some time. That still didn't mean that he could just cause Niichan pain, make him regret trusting his little brother with something like that and clench his eyes shut and bite his lip and make him whimper. No, that really wasn't what h-

"Come on now. I'm fine. Keep going. I can take it."

"Niichan ... " He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to withstand the temptation of driving into that heat with one quick shove, trying to go slow, to control himself.

"Come on, do it quickly ..."

"Niichan that-"

"Just do it already!"

Yanking his hips forward, Kei finally drove all the way inside, ripping a cry from Niichan as well as from himself, feeling his brother's hands clutch at his back and nails raking across pale skin.

For a short moment he couldn't even place the tiny sob that reached his ears, too engulfed in the amazing feeling of being buried within Niichan, of him clenching around his cock. Of Kei being the only person who had ever been inside of him. No one else. Only him.

It was incredible.

It was hot and tight and somehow, Kei wasn't sure how long he could stand keeping still because right now he felt like he was drowning. Gods, he needed to move, draw out and drive in again or something, _anything_ , because otherwise he'd lose his fucking mind. Propping himself up on his elbows, he ran fingers through his brother's hair, touching his face in a soothing motion. Wiped away tears he hadn't known were there.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it hurt … " Kei whispered against his lips, his breath ragged and his voice raw. "It'll feel good soon, I promise."

Niichan's breathing was heavy and harried and when he finally opened his eyes again, searching for Kei's, his lips were trembling ever so slightly.

"Yeah?" he rasped, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably. "You gonna make me feel good?" Gods, Kei couldn't stand the tone of his brother's voice. It was too much of a plea and went straight to his cock, making him promise things he didn't even know he was capable of fulfilling.

"I'll make you feel good," he breathed, nodding more to himself than to his brother, before nuzzling the other's face, rubbing their cheeks together and panting against Niichan's parted lips, eyes clenched shut. "So good, you're gonna ... " _scream my name over and over and over again while you hold onto me, moaning and writhing, because I'm the only one that could ever make you. Because I'm the only one that matters in this fucking world._

Of course he couldn't say that.

“… Come.” Gods, he should stop talking.

"Then start moving already."

And Kei did. Slowly drawing out and then pushing in even slower, causing both of them to gasp and Niichan to suppress another whine, holding his breath. It became easier after a few thrusts, his brother relaxing more and more once the pain started to die away. Kei tried building a steady rhythm but the sensations were too much, the feeling so alien and overwhelming that he couldn't and was relieved when Niichan's hands got a hold of his ass, interjecting what otherwise would have turned into wild and senseless humping. Wordlessly guiding him into a nice pace. Drawing out slowly, much further than Kei had done at first, before driving all the way in again, using slightly more force, skin slapping against skin when they connected. He remembered how his brother always made sure to jerk him off while they fucked but when Kei tried to do the same, he only managed to pull at Niichan's cock twice before his hand forgot how to move and his brother had to push it away, pumping himself.

"Lemme ... " He panted and motioned for Kei to fully concentrate on what his hips were doing. And honestly, that was hard enough with Niichan trying to set the pace, pushing his hips back and forth again, keeping him there a few seconds longer than necessary before starting anew. It had been a great help right at the start when Kei had moved in a way that had been more embarrassing than anything else yet right now, he really didn't want his brother telling him what to do. Somehow, he wanted him to just let Kei take care of it. To trust that his little brother was fully capable to make them both feel good without him having to interfere. The thoughts made Kei bolder. Thrusting a bit harder and pulling out a bit faster, ignoring how the remaining hand at his hips tried making him slow down again, even trying to pat it away a few times. He was in control now and as long as Niichan didn't show any signs of pain, he'd fucking move how he wanted. Propped up on his elbows, he finally grabbed his brother's hand and pinned it down above his head, earning himself a surprised gasp. He lost control the moment one of his harder thrusts ripped a staggered cry from Niichan's mouth. One that wasn't caused by pain but pleasure and left the other's mouth open slack, made his eyes roll back. And damn, he craved to hear that again.

"Kei, wait!" Niichan's voice was trembling and when his free hand abandoned his cock to push against Kei's hips, to stop him again, he caught that one as well, forcing it down next to the other.

“I guess it’s okay if I do it like this as there’s no way I could _ever_ hold you down unless you wanted me to, right?” Kei breathed into Niichan’s ear and immediately drove in again, causing his brother to whimper. He didn’t struggle though. Not one bit. His fingers only reached to touch Kei’s, almost lovingly, and then Niichan turned his head to press his nose against Kei’s cheek, lips sliding along his skin, searching for his. When they met again, urgent and wet, Kei’s hips thrust forward again, forcing a moan down his brother's throat.

"Niichan ... " Kei managed between hungry kisses and panting, turned on by all the tiny noises his brother made when he increased the pace even more, slammed into him until he drew out reserved moans that turned into a mantra of _fuck, fuck, gods, Kei, fuck, wait, gods, wait._

Soon the words were lost between heavy panting and moaning and grunting and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. Kei felt Niichan arch his back and clench his legs around his while he tried freeing his arms now, groaning into Kei's ear and begging him – _fucking begging him_ – to release his grip and let him touch him. The moment he did, hands buried themselves in his hair, drawing him down for lips and tongues to meet, sucking the air from his lungs, before they glided along his back, nails raking, scratching his skin and most likely leaving marks that would force Kei to stop using the showers after training for some time. Gods, he was close. So close, so fucking close. His toes already curling and his balls tightening. Niichan seemed to be as well, already pumping his own length again, his hand moving in time with Kei's hips, faster and faster, his knuckles grazing Kei's stomach, faster and faster, before he started panting Kei's name over and over again, his voice trembling and desperate. A few seconds later and Niichan let out a strangled cry right next to Kei's ear, hot breath washing over his skin, fingers gripping his neck hard and pulling him down – closer, closer – until he feared the impossible heat and intensity would choke him. The muscle around his cock clenched before he felt his brother come, the hot liquid spurting onto his abdomen and chest. That pushed him over the edge too. Somehow he had been sure that a drawn out moan had been the only sound that had left his mouth once his orgasm hit. And yet he found his lips muttering embarrassing declarations of _'mine'_ over and over again while he drove into Niichan a few last times before his hips stilled and his arms gave out, unable to support him any longer. For a few moments, there was nothing else but the sound of his own breath and Niichan’s heart pounding against his chest, resonating with his own, the other's skin burning and covered in a thin layer of sweat. He felt his cock go limp, still inside and surrounded by warmth while he tried catching his breath, his head on the pillow and nestled in the crook of Niichan's neck, the skin there hot and sweaty as well. The other's chest was rising and falling a lot steadier than Kei's, although his heart was still drumming rapidly, pushing his body upwards with every breath that he took, skin sticky and still overly sensitive to every touch. Judging from how they were trembling uncontrollably, Kei was sure that if he had tried pushing up from the bed now, his legs wouldn't have been able to support him and he'd just crash down again the moment he tried taking the first step.

It was hard keeping his eyes open now. It always was after sex, and Kei was almost expecting Niichan to start pushing at his shoulders, telling him to pull out already and move over. But he didn’t. And if it hadn’t been for the movement of the fingers that were running up and down his back in a soothing pace, barely even touching, Kei would have thought him to be asleep already. Soon, he couldn’t stand the heat anymore and slowly slipped out, causing them both to wince and his brother to hitch his breath. Kei still refused to roll over though, the other’s body much too comfortable. He wondered if it was okay to fall asleep like this, covered in cum that would soon dry and leave stains. Niichan would probably want to take a shower, so Kei would have to move eventually. Tilting his head up a little, he tried looking at his brother’s face, curious to see which expression he was wearing. Once he felt him move, Niichan licked his lips absentmindedly and slowly turned to face him, his eyes only opening half the way.

“You okay?” He mumbled, nudging Kei's nose with his own and pushing a lazy kiss onto his lips.

“I think I should be the one asking that, Niichan,” Kei whispered.

That made the corners of his brother's mouth curve up a little, his eyes already on the verge of closing again. “Hmm~ 'm fine.”

When Niichan's eyes fluttered shut a few seconds later, Kei couldn't really help but do the same, feeling too exhausted and tired to move, content with just staying like this for a moment longer. Maybe he'd even doze off. Maybe that wouldn't even be the worst thing to do. His breath had almost been back to normal again, and once the heat of the moment was gone, he felt the chilly air on his skin, causing goose bumps and little shivers. Luckily he hadn't kicked the covers off the bed and they were only crumbled up somewhere to his left. As soon as his fingers got a hold of the fabric, he yanked on it and tugged it over both of them, eliciting a displeased grunt from his brother.

“I'm cold you know?” Kei muttered into the other's neck, running fingers along his chest and tracing his collarbone all the way up to Niichan’s shoulder. Now that the blanket offered additional warmth, his body had already switched to something akin to _standby_. “If you wanna use the shower, you'll have to push me off coz I'm not gonna move one inch.”

He thought of similar words he had muttered at Niichan as he had pinned him down minutes ago and suddenly found them awfully embarrassing. Somehow he wanted to apologise. For doing it like he had wanted. For not listening when Niichan had told him to slow down, to stop moving. He wondered if it had hurt a lot. If Niichan regretted letting Kei do it. He wondered if he’d let him do it again. If he had liked it, at least somewhat. It sure seemed like he did. Gods, Kei still couldn’t believe they had done it like this. That he had spent an entire week wishing to know how it would feel like – imagining it – just to convince himself that he’d never know. Because older brothers didn’t let their younger ones fuck them. Well, technically speaking, brothers didn’t fuck at all but that really wasn’t the point now, was it?

“Niichan?” He whispered, nuzzling the other's neck softly, when there wasn't any reply save for a little sigh. “I never thought you’d let me do that,” his voice was nothing more than a soft breath washing over the other’s skin. Suddenly the body underneath him shifted, pushing him halfway off before strong arms wrapped around his back in a lazy embrace, holding him close, lips grazing his forehead in an almost-kiss. And here he had believed his brother to be asleep already.

“I’d let you do anything,” Niichan mumbled. “Especially if it makes me feel so good.” His nose buried in Kei’s hair, nuzzling the skin underneath before moving lower to caress his cheek. “But you know,” Kei could almost feel the teasing smile on his brother’s lips as they hovered over his. “Payback’s a bitch.”

“Now you’re just talking big, Niichan,” Kei smiled, his voice sleepy and his lids already too heavy to keep them open.

“Hmm~ we’ll see, little brother.”


	4. Bonus: About Barley's And Secrets

_[So what are you doing? Homework again?]_ His brother asked via messenger.

[I just finished], Kei replied. [I’m checking some of your music now.]

 _[Really?_ _**(´** _ _**ヮ** _ _**`)** _ _]_

_[Anything you like so far?]_

Kei stared at the message his brother had sent for a while and ultimately settled for [Some are quite nice.]

He shouldn’t tell Niichan. He should really keep it to himself. His brother would most likely only freak out and get all embarrassed, so Kei thought it would really be best not to mention it.

_[What are you listening to right now?]_

Kei’s eyes drifted to the display of his iPod, reading the name of the song that was currently playing. _Track 09_. He wouldn’t tell Niichan.

[Something by the name of Planet Love Sound], he lied. Truth be told, he hadn’t been able to listen to anything new ever since he stumbled upon the songs hidden in a folder called ‘ _Recordings.’_

_[Oh yeah, I remember. You gotta check the video for ‘Middle of Nowhere’, it’s real nice.]_

He still couldn’t quite believe it. He remembered how he had been on his way home from training listening to songs from his brother’s external hard drive, when that one song had suddenly played. Kei remembered how, while his brother was most likely still at work somewhere in Sendai, he had stopped dead in his tracks and how his heart had jumped and how he had held his breath once Niichan’s voice had been right there. Right in his ears, coming out of his headphones, more clear than it was during telephone conversations. First he had thought his mind was playing tricks on him. He seriously had believed he was going crazy. To be hearing things that weren’t even there. The human mind was a strange thing, really. It could make you hear or see all kinds of things. But no matter how many times he pressed repeat to start the song anew, expecting the voice to sound completely different the next time, it still sounded like Niichan’s.

Of course it did.

Because it was.

Kei recognised his brother’s voice when he heard it and that was surely him. _Singing_ about some bar named _Barley’s_ and the hand towel he didn’t get. There even was talking at the end of the song that destroyed every doubt he might have still had. Kei remembered how he suddenly couldn’t wait to get home. How, suddenly, the only thing he had wanted was to get to that stupid hard drive his brother had left with him and check if that folder contained more than just this one song. When he saw that it did, Kei couldn’t help feeling all giddy just by looking at the files. He still did now while listening to them. He shouldn’t. Not anymore. Not after listening to them over and over again. Yet he still did.

_[So, come on. What’s your favourite so far? You gotta have one.]_

Kei had to smile.

Yeah, he did have one.

Though Niichan would probably be a bit disappointed in his little brother’s taste in music, seeing as how between all the amazing tracks by hundreds of artists from dozens of countries, it was some _random guys_ ’ karaoke recordings he liked best. Some _random guy_ who had obviously improvised and sang about a stupid bar named _Barley’s_ twice and then went on about how he cut his finger on a book page. The same guy who performed a freaking Enka, leaving Kei gaping at how fucking good he was, feeling his chest tighten, before switching to cheerful, upbeat songs that made Kei wanna bury his face in his pillow to hide the stupid smiles he couldn’t suppress even if his life depended on it. He actually had to make sure not to listen to those when he was around people. There was even some kind of superhero song with Niichan and a few other people he didn’t know. Which was actually pretty good. Not that Kei would ever admit that to anyone. Then again, he would make sure to keep those songs to himself anyway. Because they seemed personal. They seemed like the kind of stuff his brother wouldn’t want anyone to know about. Yet Kei did. And that felt great. Yeah.

Maybe the fact that Niichan wasn’t aware of it made it even better.

 _[Keiiiiiiiiiii?_ _ヽ_ _(´△`)_ _ﾉ_ _]_

Niichan had probably forgotten about the songs already. Kei wondered how he would react upon finding out that his little brother had listened to all of them. Was still listening to them. Because he liked them. A lot. Would he be happy?

[I’m not telling.]

Maybe one day.

_[???]_

_[What’s that supposed to mean?! (o_ _゜ー゜_ _o)?? Why can’t you just tell me which band you like best?]_

[Coz it’s a secret.]

_[Haaaaa~~??!!]_

[   (¬‿¬)   ]

 _[Don’t emoji me!! (_ _ﾟ_ _Д_ _ﾟ_ _)_ _＜_ _!! ]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a huge supporter of Toyonaga Toshiyuki as Akiteru's seiyuu, because he's the perfect Aki, so all the songs mentioned in this little bonus chapter are by him. :) Check them out and see for yourself why he's the only Akiteru voice I'll ever accept. :D Song's I referenced are:
> 
> Track 09 a.k.a. O☆SHI☆BO☆RI from Toshi's album 'Music of the Entertainment' and it's other version O☆HA☆SHI  
> were he sings about an Izakaya named Barley's :)  
> 'Hon' where he cuts his finger on a book page and the amazing Enka (the secret track) also from 'Music of the Entertainment'  
> The cheerfull songs are no others but Music of the Entertainment and Encounter and Waratte aaaand many more. :) Because Toshi just lights your mood with the majority of his songs.  
> The superhero song is nothing else but "Oretachi Flamengers!" from Samurai Flamenco! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks again for the amazing Colonelchansan from tumblr, who was a massive help to me during the development of the fic with proof-reading and her keen eye for things that don't make any sense at all. :D


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